


I'm the King of the Sea, Butthead

by blackgoliath



Series: Did Someone Say Playground AU [4]
Category: Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Children, Babies, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 09:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/796690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackgoliath/pseuds/blackgoliath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playground AU: in which Namor plans to win Sue's heart through any means necessary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm the King of the Sea, Butthead

He could see the two of them from behind the fish tank, Reed and Sue, sitting next to each other at their desks, whispering and giggling and passing notes back and forth. It was snack time so they were sharing Reed's pudding cup (which in itself was an outrage, and Namor could only be thankful that they weren't using the same spoon) while Namor irritably devoured his own snack, a bag of pretzels his mother had given him that morning. Since he was the one who brought the fish into class as the class pets, it was Namor's duty to feed them during snack time, and therefore he could only watch with seething hatred as Reed moved in on the woman of his dreams.

"One day I will win her heart, you'll see," Namor grumbled to the sole goldfish left in the tank. When he'd brought the goldfish to class there had been five altogether; previous attempts at keeping one goldfish had proved fruitless as each died within a few days, so Namor felt that bringing in a bunch at the same time would increase the likelihood of one surviving. He'd been right, in a way. One of the fish had wasted almost no time at all devouring its brothers, until it alone was left, much larger than it had been at the start and with plenty of room to swim around in. Namor was inspired by this fish, his Imperius, as he'd named it. "Richards thinks he has claim to her, but he doesn't know Susan and I ate an ice cream from the same cone." He smiled triumphantly at the memory.

"Perhaps I will bring her a flower. Women enjoy flowers." He glanced out the window. Their class faced the playground, so he could see the small army of dandelions clustered in the clearing at the edge of the wood chips. "Yes, that will do perfectly. I will bring her a dandelion and sweep her off her feet." He puffed out his little chest and straightened. "Richards knows nothing of romance, not like I do. I _studied_."

He was, of course, referring to all of the old movies his parents owned, which he would sneak into his room and stuff into the DVD player he had hooked up to his small flat screen TV (Namor's parents were quite rich, you see). The men and women who danced and sang across the screen had taught him everything he needed to know about winning a woman's heart.

During recess he hid in the bushes near the swing set, watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity as Reed and Sue walked together across the playground. Namor had a small bouquet of dandelions clenched in his tiny fist and a dried starfish tucked into the pocket of his jeans. His parents owned the biggest aquarium in the state, well-known for its beauty and attraction, and he'd insisted upon taking this particular souvenir to school with him. When he explained that he needed the starfish to woo a woman of indescribable beauty, his parents had smiled and aww'd and immediately granted him his request. Which was good, in retrospect. His parents were his parents but at times they could be blathering idiots and he didn't want to be forced into putting them in their place.

When Reed and Sue were close enough Namor carefully slid out of the bush, moving in front of the pair and offering the bouquet of dandelions to Sue and pretending Reed wasn't there.

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl," he said, and Sue smiled and took the dandelions, brushing her fingertips over the flower heads. Reed frowned and Namor took great pleasure in his discomfort.

"If you don't mind, Namor, we're kind of in the middle of a conversation---"

"It's okay, Reed," Sue interrupted. She sniffed the dandelions and sighed. "Thanks, Namor. They're really nice."

"Anything for you." Namor positioned himself in such a way that he stood near Sue, his back to Reed, effectively cutting his rival out of the equation. "I also brought you this." And that was when he produced the starfish, the prettiest one his parents had. Sue giggled and took it from him.

"Oh, Namor, that's so sweet."

"As I said; _anything_ for you."

Reed made a whining noise behind him. "Come on, Namor, _I_ was talking to Sue!"

"And you are no longer." Namor made a dismissive gesture in Reed's general direction. He could see Reed pouting out of the corner of his eye and decided this was his second favorite recess (after, of course, the day when he and Sue had shared ice cream). 

"I'm gonna talk to Namor for a little bit," Sue said, cutting off any attempts Reed was making at drawing her attention back to him. She slipped her hand in Namor's and he felt something do a backflip in his belly. "See you later, okay?"

"Okay," Reed pouted. "I'll just go hang out with Ben."

"Okay!" Sue pulled Namor over toward the blacktop by the basketball hoops, and as they walked Namor glanced over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out at the dejected Reed. _Yes_ , he thought as Sue dragged him across the playground. _All of my research was worth it_.

They sat on the grass near the blacktop and when Sue opened the conversation with, "Reed doesn't ever get me flowers. Do you think he likes me? _Like_ likes me, not the other kind," Namor scowled and wondered if he hadn't misjudged the situation after all.

"Sue, darling," he began, "Forget about him. Boys who _like_ like you will always bring you flowers." And Sue smiled and brought the dandelions to her nose and sniffed and Namor reveled in his victory, especially when he glanced across the playground and saw that Reed was watching them from afar, lip wibbling, probably on the verge of tears. He grinned and held Sue's hand tighter.

Oh yes, he would win yet.


End file.
